Discipline

I read all the books on child psychology. All the articles from parenting experts. I search high and low on the Internet for good advice on discipline. But somewhere in between reading the good advise and practicing it there is a gap and I'm ending up scratching my head, wondering what to do next.

Why do kids have to test you? I mean they should know by now that when I've had enough of nagging, quarrelling, teasing, whining I throw a tantrum! I really admire families in which kids are well behaved, seem clean at all times of the day, say please and thank you without needing to be reminded, eat by themselves all there is in the plate...I could go on. Why are my kids not like that?

Let's talk about nagging. My son is an animated jack-hammer. When he wants something, let's say juice, he keeps on jack-hammering until he gets it. "Mama juice. Mama juice. Mama juice." (growing louder as he goes on) .The words "Wait a second" are not part of his lexicon apparently, because he just goes on and on.

Then there's the issue of saying please when asking for something. Why is it so difficult for kids to remember to say please and thank you. I try to ignore their requests, hoping they'll realise they forgot to say the 'magic word', but they just can't get it. I should write PLEASE on my forehead and THANK YOU on my back...too bad they can't read yet!

Sibling rivalry, translated teasing and quarrelling. Experts say kids do it to grab the parent's attention. Oh come on. Every parent knows that kids have teasing and quarrelling in their DNA, right into the roots of their very nature. There's something too exciting in knocking down a sibling's just created tower of blocks, or in scribbling over the sibling's finished drawing. And no toy on earth is more interesting than the one the sibling just decided to play with, even if it has been lying there untouched for the past 3 months. I'll soon start wearing a black outfit, whistle in one hand and red and yellow cards in the other. The thing is that many times I don't really know who started. Well that's true also for referees!

During meal times, we always have whine. No spelling mistake there! Someone has to whine at the table. It's our background music. If a miracle happens and no one is whining, Kenneth pinches Julia, because we've grown so much used to it! (Just kidding). Why do all the catastrophes of the world happen during meal times. Someone has to go to the bathroom, then the others follow suite of course. Emma feels every ache and pain at the table. Complaints on the menu never lack. Only Ringo behaves at meals!

Then when whining escalates to a tantrum, there's "the dance". Do your kids do it? Yes you know, they start with low jumping, then they start moving about and the jumping continues until it's wild dancing all over the house! That the moment someone needs a time out. And that someone is ME!